Can you get genital herpes from oral sex?

Q: Tim: My wife and I have been married for about three and a half years. She recently had an outbreak of genital herpes for the first time. What precautions do I need to take and be aware of? I have herpes in my mouth. Could I have transmitted it to her during oral sex?

A: Dr. Dean: You raise a lot of issues. You could have transmitted this it to her during oral sex. Herpes is so important and interesting, but poorly studied.

There is a new test out for herpes that will turn this whole thing upside down. A lot of people will find out that they have it, but the majority will never remember having a lesion.

So where did it come from? Well it's easy for women not to remember a lesion, because they have a lot of inside parts. For guys, it's kind of hard to imagine one wouldn't know he had ever had herpes. So let's talk about it.

Because we now know the virus that causes cold sores can transmit and take up residence in the netherlands and probably vice versa, I think your proposition is appropriate. However, this does not mean if, after three or four years of marriage, your partner has an outbreak of herpes that they have been cheating on you, not at all.

I've seen relationships break up over this. P eople will call their lawyers before they think to call this program and get straightened out.

This virus can hang on for a while, then with a little stress and irritation, pop out. You think it's the first attack, but you've actually had it for a long time.

I wish I knew the answer as far as precautions go. This test is going to tell a lot of people hey, your partner has herpes, and that scares us to death. It may not be an active lesion at the time, but you can still spread the virus without active lesions, though it is more common for it to spread with active lesions.

Are you doomed to barrier methods of birth control or whatever for the rest of your life? A lot of folks would disagree with me on this, but I believe that when you're married, you need to figure that you're going to share your microbiology, and that if your partner has something, you're probably going to get it. If they have a cold, you're likely to get a cold, too. There is no t elling who got it from where.

In terms of precautions, while she has lesions, the reasonable thing would be to protect yourself, because if you don't have it, you don't need it. As far as oral sex goes, that is a no man's land. How common it is for genital herpes to transmit to the mouth? I think that is unknown. I suspect it can, because it can be transmitted from the genitals to the mouth, so I'll leave that up to you to decide. This means you must change your habits for a while or begin using a sheet of latex.

I like to tell people to use these obstacles as opportunities to change their sexual habits. These can be opportunities to do something they wouldn't normally do, and it can often add something to the relationship that they wouldn't ordinarily think of. So, rather than fighting to do the same thing as before with the help of layers of latex, go and experience something new and have fun.

That's the sum of my knowledge on the subject. If an yone out there knows more, please let me know. The Feds have approved this test, it's ready to go and with it, we're going to learn a lot more.

Dean Edell, M.D.

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